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Don’t Be A Female Lobster.

By Kristina on January 9th, 2012 in Motivation. View more posts by .

Kristina is the owner of Streeter, LTD. & Peace Together Spaces. She's been self-employed for about three years and has a passion for life and business. Kristina is a wife, VP of Marketing & PR, shop owner, blogger, and avid networker, with a huge passion for helping women in business. Read more about her here
I know the title just threw you a curve ball – we are women, why wouldn’t we want to be like the female lobster??

Did you know that when you go to cook a Lobster if you don’t get the lid on for a group of male lobsters, one will climb out and then help the others escape?!

For the female lobsters you can leave the lid completely off. Why? Female lobsters do the opposite. When one is trying to escape the others pull her back in.

I used this analogy when I spoke at a girl’s conference earlier this year, and it was an eye opener for many. Although at the conference the concept was geared toward self-image – I think it fits for business too. Where there are women, there can be drama. We all have experienced this, and unfortunately it doesn’t stop in high school. I see it all of the time in business – women in competition for customers in businesses that have the same target market or product. They glare at one another across the room, or make sure they are sly and out “deal” the other, they tattle on the other to someone else about business ethics, etc. It happens all of the time.

But the truth is, women are also the best connections you can have, especially if you form those relationships. When a woman wants to help their friend in business they are more likely to send everyone they know to you – (I spoke more about this here.)

Yes, there is competition – yes, there are the catty women that seem like they are out to “get you and your business”, but don’t surround others like them. For example, I sell Mary Kay Cosmetics but I still have strong ties with other women in Pink Papaya, and Arbonne. Why? They are my competition – right?

My reason is this: My goal (yours should be too) is the customer or client; so this means I should put their needs ahead of mine. If I can’t offer them exactly what they need – I need to make sure those needs are met. If I’m selfish and leave them unsatisfied later, giving them a bad idea of me and my company, they won’t ever refer anyone back to me or come back as a customer.

Not everyone wants Mary Kay, just like not everyone wants Arbonne, so why not? Why not refer one of my clients or friends to someone else I know and have created a relationship with to help them grow their business? I do this with women in all kinds of industries. I have several personal trainers, psychologists, chiropractors, shop owners, etc. that I have in my referral base for massage. Sure, I have some that I network closer with and send more leads to – it’s a two way street, but not every person is going to get along with the person I’m closest with and make those connections with. Every woman doesn’t get along with every other woman, it’s the way it works and that’s completely OK.

Create those relationships, but don’t be afraid to lay those boundaries either. The Arbonne rep I have formed a relationship with is great, I’ve listened to her business plan, I’ve tried her products so I know what I’m talking about when/if the situation comes up that I need to refer someone to her. I may have someone that is interested in starting a new business, which Mary Kay might not work for – but Arbonne would be more ideal, then I can give them a synopsis that I learned from her and send her to my friend Chelsey, and that might work both ways. The boundaries have been laid, meaning she wouldn’t bad mouth my company to someone I know or work with, and I wouldn’t do it to hers either.  There isn’t that harsh, uneasy competition there.

Remember: although it’s not always to keep it fresh in our minds – we are all women trying to make it in the business world, trying to provide ourselves and family a better life.

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